That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I came so hard my ears popped.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
