Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
