I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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