Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Too much gin, very little bucket
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
