Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
