i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I want a musical about memes.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
