No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
