just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
