stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
