DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
