I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
