he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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