just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
