i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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