so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
