Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i think i just lost a toe
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
