as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
