Someone shit on the floor
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
