sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
