so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
