The maid of honor just puked.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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