I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
