Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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