We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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