her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
