fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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