this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
