No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
