Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
