Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
