i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
smell my finger.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
