My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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