2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
