Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it hurts more in the daytime
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
