i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
