i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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