Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
