He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
