Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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