don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
