real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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