yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
