He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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