She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
