there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
COCAINE IS GR8
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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