Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
