I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
