i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
