he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
should my penis look like a turkey
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
