I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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