Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
