im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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