i just wanna soil my oats bro
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
